The Truth about 7-11

Today is my 33rd birthday. I forgive you for not making a note about it last year so you could send me an awesome present.  Just make sure you don't forget in 2014 or else I'll hold a grudge forever.  But the only present on my list is this.  Anything less will be rejected, 'k?

I'm still in Georgia visiting family with the kids.  I'm five pounds heavier than 10 days ago, and I might be eating a cookie right now (obviously those two things are not related).  And since I'm letting you in on all these secrets, I might as well bust a few myths about The Kiefer Cottage. Things that have been keeping you up at night.

Myth #1: We are a very busy family.

Truth: We are a very un-busy family.  I may be loud and opinionated and seem to be high energy, but I really like my down time.  Leaving the house at 8am to cart the kids from activity to activity only to return home at 8pm is not my idea of fulfillment.  It's not because I'm a simpleminded fool who doesn't crave intellectual stimulation, but because I can get what I need without being out and about all the time.  I really prefer high quality fun (fine dining, for instance) with plenty of recovery time in between.  I love reading, which, ahem, is a real hobby, people, but I can stay home for that.  And you know how much crafting I do (none).

"Busy" loving baby cousins, perhaps.

Katie did take ballet once per week this past spring, but you won't see us at sports activities, kiddie gym, art class, baby meditation, youngster's origami, or advanced potty training coaching sessions.  As the children enter school, you might think the calendar will fill up, but I am an ace at saying No.  Anyway, since being a know-it-all doesn't pay very well, we can afford to try everything, just not all at once.  Well, maybe not everything.  I'm okay with the kids forgoing pilot training, although I would absolutely adore it if they took up kitchen remodeling or roofing or plumbing or electrician-ing or lawyering.  If those classes aren't offered, they should be!  And I'm not necessarily talking about 9 to 5 type "work" training--there's plenty of time for that later (in fact, way too much time is devoted to working), but learning a few real skills sounds pretty good to me.  The sports field ain't the only place to do it.   But that's a whole other myth to bust one day.  And if I sign up the kids for those things, I'll just be making us busy, which is the exact opposite of what I want to do.  So forget it, enrichment planners, please don't start a kiddie roofing class or else I'll feel inclined to enroll Drew, who is definitely old enough to install shingles.

I can't swim, and I still poop my pants, but I can re-wire the house, Mom!

Myth #2: We are insanely attractive.

Truth: We actually are insanely attractive.

So cute she's almost edible.

So really, I only had one myth to bust.  Happy Birthday to me.